Is my boyfriend addicted?

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Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby Dicegirl » Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:02 pm

I was looking for some advise as I have hit a brick wall. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, I knew he had an Xbox and played now and again but it was never a problem. I am Cabin crew so I go away often so we only really see each other a couple of days a week. He doesn't go out or have any friends. His only friends are guys online who he has never met. 
I speak to him on iMessage whilst I am away and he is often distracted and doesn't want to talk for long. He says he is tired and needs to go to bed and then I look at his Xbox online status and he plays for then next several hours. 
We generally have just two full days off together where we love each others company. There have been too many occasions where I get back from a flight and ask to see him the odd evening but he always says he has a play date with his online friends.
After only six months, I think he should be wanting to see me at any given opportunity. 

The first few months were as expected but now I seem to be second fiddle to his Xbox and his online friends. Should I worry he has an addiction or am I worrying too much.
I have confronted him several times and he says that the whole thing is in my head and it's my problem. 

Any advise on this would be much appreciated as I love him and don't want to leave him.
Dicegirl
 
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby Andy284 » Wed Nov 06, 2013 2:59 pm

Is he generally shy?

Has he found his Xbox to hide behind?

Can he be something he is not whilst on his Xbox?

Does he have other issues, and this takes his mind off them?

Is it a fantasy he is living? The football manager? The war hero?

Does he have a job?

Does he have any other hobbies?

Does he get out much?

Has he had issues in the past?

These are a number of questions you should be asking yourself. I am not saying he is addicted, but Addiction is generally caused by isolation, and it may be time to have a chat with him, and explain you have had enough of his endless hours playing "children's" games. Maybe he just needs to grow up!!!!

The other option is, you may need to "wake up and smell the coffee". Maybe he is not the man for you.

You say you love him. I believe all relationships succeed if you have 3 qualities:

1/ sex
2/ trust
3/ conversation

Think of your situation with your boyfriend. You trust him as he is always at home on the Xbox.

Your communication is breaking down as he is unable to talk about his gaming problem, which I would imagine is causing problems with your sex life.

So, to finalise, you may love him, but due to his gaming problems, is there really a relationship there anymore?

I hope you two sort this out together. Good luck. ;)
Andy284
 
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby Methery » Wed Apr 02, 2014 4:16 am

Your bf must learn how to balance his time. Yes maybe he starting getting addicted in gaming.
Methery
 
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby xander » Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:41 am

Just what you said he doesn't have friends and he's not going out, maybe his Xbox makes him happy while you are on the flight and he's alone
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby Alex Styles » Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:06 pm

Good point.
Alex Styles
 
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby xander » Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:33 am

Thanks Alex, dicegirl maybe you need to spend more time for your bf so that he can't alone
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Re: Is my boyfriend addicted?

Postby Jerry38 » Mon Nov 24, 2014 2:23 am

I think he's addicted, no friends outside and doesn't go out from home. He must balance his time. And you could go see him in his house, you could spend time and play with him, might work. :)
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